In the Shadow of Conflict: A Mother’s Battle for Her Children in Kashmir
In the early nineties, when the armed struggle for Kashmir’s self-determination was gaining momentum, I was born into a stable family. My parents led a happy, content life, and my brother arrived just a year and a half after me. Like any other parents, they had planned for a good education, a secure life, and a loving upbringing for us. But as fate would have it, the Almighty had something else in store, and our peaceful world was soon shattered by the turbulence surrounding us.
One cold winter night, in the dead of the night, my father was picked up by the Indian armed forces during a night raid and detained without explanation, a fate he would suffer for several years. This was the beginning of a nightmare, not just for him, but for my mother, who found herself alone with two young children, trying to hold the family together.
As a single mother with no support, my mother endured unimaginable hardship. From running from pillar to post to secure my father’s release to caring for two young children, her struggles were heart-wrenching. I vividly remember how she had to travel from one police station to another, go to Delhi with two infants, and tirelessly pursue lawyers and politicians for help. Along the way, she suffered the loss of her own parents, adding yet another layer of grief to her burdens. The toll it took on her physical and mental health was immense. I recall, as a four-year-old, being lost in the chaotic crowd near Billimaran in Old Delhi, close to Jamia Masjid. My mother, in her determination, found me amidst the madness, a moment that could have ended tragically if not for her quick thinking.
In Kashmir, it is the children who bear the heaviest burdens of the ongoing armed struggle. Their innocent minds have been scarred by the violence they have witnessed from a young age. Innocent killings, brutality, and the constant fear of being caught in night raids have created lasting trauma, hopelessness, and psychological distress for many. In our case, it was my brave mother’s relentless spirit that shielded us from the worst of it. She did everything in her power to ensure that we did not let the conflict destroy our childhood.
The armed struggle has also severely disrupted the education system in Kashmir. The constant shut downs, curfews, killings, and crackdowns led to the closure of schools and limited opportunities for children to learn and grow. Kashmiri children have had far fewer schooling facilities than other parts of India, which stunted their intellectual and emotional development. The children born after 1989, including myself, spent more time confined to their homes than in classrooms. The war also left the educational infrastructure in ruins, further contributing to the mental anguish of the younger generation.
But despite all the odds, my mother managed to give me and my brother a fighting chance. With very little financial support, she made sure we received the best education possible. She enrolled us in an English-medium school, ensuring that our needs were met, and she dealt with our tantrums and demands with unmatched patience. Her tireless efforts ensured that we didn’t just survive but thrived. Today, I am a graduate, pursuing my master’s degree, and my brother works as a government employee.
I still remember the countless trips we made with my mother to Delhi, running from one lawyer’s office to another, navigating the maze of legal systems, and dealing with the uncertainty of it all. It was a grueling process, but my mother’s perseverance kept us going. Her determination kept us grounded, and because of her, we are where we are today.
Unfortunately, this story is not unique. Many other women in Kashmir have endured the same torment, losing their husbands to the Indian armed forces, while they were left to raise their children alone amidst conflict. My mother’s courage, however, stands as a beacon for all the women of Kashmir. It is a reminder that, no matter how dark the days may seem, there is always hope. With patience, perseverance, and resilience, they can rise above the hardships and come out stronger.
The suffering of mothers like mine is a lesson for all of us — the children of conflict. It’s an opportunity for us to give back to those who have borne the greatest burden in the struggle for justice. They have endured unimaginable hardships, and now it is our turn to honor their sacrifices and ensure their struggles are never forgotten.
